Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize