is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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