watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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