So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
