I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
