Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
