this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
