Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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