Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
