Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
