Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
