Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Say something about gay babies.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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