We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
