How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
