Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This house was built for laser tag.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He shit in the fireplace
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
