so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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