That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize