I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize