you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
