Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i will never coherently bang her
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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