I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
