I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
