I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
