i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
