I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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