Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
