Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
