dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
