How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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