She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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