I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
