after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm at about main and main street
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
