So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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