I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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