She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I FOUND THE LEGS
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
