last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
