no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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