saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
