So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
