you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
