omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
