hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My feet surprised me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
