I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
