Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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