We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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