shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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