I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize