Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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