you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Drake has all the answers
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
