I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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