You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
