Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
