16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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