i barfeds in our rink
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize