Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
