he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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