That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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