I've blown a few things in my day
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
