yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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