using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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