This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
