Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
