I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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