maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize