He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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