I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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