Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
