a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
