he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize