As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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