suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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