I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
